Sarah Knows Nothing About Korea- Month One

Another update from me after my first month here...

I’ve been here in Korea for just shy of a month now. My floom remains pleasant, I’ve discovered a smaller mart significantly closer than the Mecca that is Homeplus (don’t worry, I still visit when I can, it has literally everything) and my work is coming along nicely. Of course there are many important things that haven’t been done, but that’s a sentence I could apply to literally every week of my life since I was about sixteen. I’m not dead, broke or deported yet, so it can’t be that bad (I should write self-help books).

My teaching at the hagwon has begun to hit a rhythm now that I’ve taught my first full week of classes- national holidays interrupted the first two. I’ve discovered several things already from this experience:

· Korean children are better behaved than Italian children. It’s a fact provable by science. When you give them exercises to do, they generally do them, it’s amazing. Sorry Italy.

· Having said this, as I thought might happen, Korean kids do have the opposite problem to Italians in that sometimes they don’t speak AT ALL. I have yet to encounter this from Italians of any age. Some of my classes consist of small numbers of students who Just. Won’t. Speak. From this I have learnt that it is actually easier to calm down and focus a loud student than it is to get a quiet one to engage. There is one class in particular with this set of twin girls who are so uncommunicative I’m starting to wonder if they have hearing problems. That’s the longest 40 minutes of my week.

· Yes, my school does have a bit of a communication issue, insofar as the lesson plans I’m given (basically just tables showing me what part of which book to work from on what day) often don’t correlate with what the kids have actually done. Often they’re further ahead than indicated, which isn’t a massive issue for me, but has happened quite a few times. I imagine once I’ve done this for a while it will become fairly obvious where to work from and what has been covered, I’m just anxious in case I accidentally teach something one of the Korean teachers prepared. But hey, I can only go on what’s planned and what the kids tell me.

· Smaller children make so much noise for no reason. On some level I already knew this (I have worked in the box office of a children’s theatre), but my God. My Mum once told me it’s something that drives my Dad particularly mad and now I can add this trait to the list of things him and I have in common. They talk to a friend one foot away: shouting. They know the answer: shouting. Rabbits continue to exist: shouting. I prefer the older kids.

· Great Britain is a totally irrelevant country. Whenever I asked the kids what they knew about my GREAT AND GLORIOUS HOMELAND (lol jk dw) the best I got would be Stonehenge, Big Ben, Fish & Chips and the Beatles. Even Ed Sheeran is a push apparently, though I honestly envy people not knowing who he is. Even the books all assume total Americanness. I’m terrified of becoming Americanised (I’ve had to write ‘Mom’ already, and if I don’t call the bin the ‘trash’ I’ll confuse everyone) and so have remained committed to keeping up with Strictly, Bake Off and Rupaul UK. I can’t lose who I am.

Aside from my teaching, I’ve generally been settling in with no real sense of direction or purpose, just bimbling along (no Microsoft Office Word I said BIMBLING AND I MEANT IT) and sorting some things out. I met my landlord after I realised I had a leaking sink, and he was kind enough to set up my WiFi router for me completely. I realise looking back on this sentence it sounds like his reaction to my leaking sink was only to fix the WiFi, and not said sink. Don’t worry, he did both. I have mad language skills. Anyway, he speaks good English, which is a godsend, and is very helpful: I have him on WhatsApp and he’s been useful with other issues since then. I am so so grateful to have both a boss and a landlord who can speak my language: only so much can be done through an app. Having the WiFi is also fantastic, as it means I’ve been able to get a VPN installed on my laptop and not everything needs to be watched on my phone now. A small but revolutionary victory for me.

I’ve also managed to complete my immigration documentation stuff, after many increasingly irritating steps (or rather one that repeated a lot). To remain here after 90 days on my visa, I need an Alien Registration Card (ARC), for which I need to complete a health check here, and hand over an immigration form that my work largely filled in, along with my contract, at an immigration appointment. The health check was at a designated clinic that can perform the service- my boss chose the one nearest to where I live, which is great, but didn’t come with me, which is not so great. This meant that I went along with no prior information each time, only to be told some new thing I hadn’t done which meant I needed to come back another day. First, I hadn’t fasted for the 12 hours before my blood test, because no one told me to. Secondly, I hadn’t stayed off any medication for a week (I take the pill) so I had to delay my urine test (ah mate come on, don’t deny me the chance to piss in a paper cup!!). Then, when I picked up my results, I hadn’t brought in a picture. Because no one had told me to, at least not in English. What was meant to be two visits ended up being five, and if I have to go back again for any reason I think I’ll just prepare a vial of each of my bodily fluids along with every document that’s ever had my name on it, just in case.

My ARC, all going smoothly from now, should arrive in about 2/3 weeks, which is when I’ll be able to do some of the really important stuff like open a bank account and set up a phone contract. Regarding the former of these, I’m intrigued to see what will happen with my first payment from work as it’s due on the 30th, which is 9 days from now, almost certainly before the card will arrive. I sincerely hope this will not become a reason to delay payment, because my funds have already had to be topped up, and I’m not a fan of, you know, not having my damn money. Hence why I still have no hairdryer, mini-oven or kettle- life is hard. I expect an obscene wad of cash if a bank account is unable to be opened.

Other than these dull admin things, everything else is chugging along well. I’ve been lucky enough that several friends happened to be visiting Korea in my first few weeks, so I’ve been able to have lunches and catch ups with them (including a visit to the BT21 store where I bought more BTS fan merch that I don’t need hey sue me) which is really special, especially as I settle in. I’ve seen Oonie again, as well as my friend Min, who I keep forgetting has a very similarly wicked sense of humour to me. I hope we can get our language exchange set up, as my Korean really is not up to scratch. I’ve used Tinder to do some socialising as well (and no that’s not a euphemism, I’m behaving)…that probably deserves its own post. I went along to a pub crawl in Hongdae (a nearby trendy area) this Saturday that went so well I spent Sunday recovering because I’m an absolute lad. And, a week or so ago my parents revealed to me that my Mum is coming to visit for a week around my birthday!! I’m incredibly happy about this. Not just because it will mean there’s someone around me who actually cares that it’s my birthday (I doubt my students will), but because, if you know anything about my Mum, you’ll know that she has a long history of hating travelling and being away from home. I’m really touched that she’s decided to come, and of her own accord as well. I personally think she’ll actually really enjoy herself- her life has been ridiculously hard these last few years, and having a week where she gets to stay in a nice hotel and only think about herself is, I think, just what she needs. I’d love it if she liked the country as well, but if she just wants to read her book in a café I’m not going to stop her.

So yeah, it’s all going well and there’s still much to do. Like try to fix the new bag I got (I shouldn’t really be surprised that it broke so quickly, it was cheap), get out as much as I can, and buy a yoga mat. Deathly exciting all of it. Until next time.